Archive for the ‘Hockey’ Category

I am a sports junkie. I will watch just about any sport. To name a few… Hockey, Football, Basketball, Soccer, Golf, Tennis, Rugby, Cricket, Volleyball, Water Polo, Boxing, Fencing, Poker (if you can call it a sport), and even Bowling if I’m really bored – (Although I will go to a Rangers game every once-in-a-while, I refuse to watch baseball on TV). Anything on any of the ESPNs, FX, TNT, or any other channel is game. The other night I watched 2 hours of Dodgeball on ESPN Ocho. Most women, such as my wife, will never understand what it’s like to live and die with a sports team. The thrill of victory, the agony of defeat, the silliness of screaming at the TV “noooooooo, catch the damn ball you jackass!”…

It’s been an up and down sports year for me so far. The Steelers and Cowboys are both doing OK and have a chance to make the playoffs. The Stars are coming along nicely and winning games in bunches, and Mavericks are playing well. All that aside, my beloved Pittsburgh Penguins are friggin terrible, and it’s slowly killing me… They picked up a lot of talented guys in the off-season (the loooooong, lockout ridden off-season) and were expected to compete with the best teams in the league. Well, just my luck, they totally suck ass. The second worst team in the entire league. Every time they lose a close game, that knife in my side twists a little deeper. But alas, I am no fair-weather fan. I still watch all the games and scream and yell and curse… and on the rare occasion that they actually win a game, it’s golden greatness. Lets Go Pens (kill me now)!

Last week I had the opportunity to play hockey down at the American Airlines Center before a Stars game. The event was put together by a friend of a friend, and included dinner with tickets to the game. I left work early and hitched a ride to the arena a ride with my fiends and fellow hockey enthusiasts Matt and Mark. After fending off security and having our gear thoroughly searched by drug-sniffing hamsters, we were escorted down to our locker rooms on the event level of the arena. It was pretty freaking cool to be walking around down by the Stars locker room where mere mortal fans never get to go… But alas, I am a Superfan! One of the security guys even mistook me and another guy as LA Kings players (they were the playing the Stars that night). We just smiled and nodded.

Getting to skate on the ice at the AAC was surreal. Even though the arena was totally empty, you could still feel the energy of the building pushing you to skate harder. The highlight of the game had to be Daryl “Razor” Reaugh (One of the Stars broadcasters) peeking out from between the players benches for about 10 minutes and asking us if we were having fun. Razor is one of the funniest dudes I’ve ever met – he has a great blog here.

The time went by way too fast, and we were rushed off the ice promptly after the buzzer sounded signaling the end of our hour. After showering and taking our gear back out to our cars, we had to go back through security again (body cavity search – sans hamsters) and get to the VIP lounge for dinner. The food was pretty good withstanding one glaring omission… BEER! Serving a room of hockey players dinner without beer is pretty much inciting a riot… Never a good idea. Anyway, Razor came in after dinner as our VIP speaker and joked around for about 5-10 minutes. He promised to get us some beer but was vetoed by the AAC staff which resulted in a chorus of “boos” and several items of food being hurled at our host. The seats were great, but the Stars-Kings game – not so much. More like a complete and total ass-kicking by LA. The Stars lost 6-3.

All-in-all, a night to remember.

Last night I got to go to the Dallas Stars game and sit in a luxury box suite. Lucky me. I got the ticket through work and had to attend an hour security presentation before the game – a small price to pay for free tickets, food, beer and Crown Royal. A good time was had by all (except for the Stars, which neglected to show up for the game and got killed 7-2).

I made a point to peruse the concourse on the Platinum level to see what being rich felt like. I noticed a couple of things:

• Rich people are good looking. Or, is it that good looking people are rich? The ol’ chicken or the egg debate… The higher up you go in the arena, the uglier people get.
• Most of the people in the luxury suites do NOT even watch the freaking game. In the suites on either side of ours, the people were too busy shmoozing and stuffing their faces with high dollar food to even pretend to watch the game.
• Does every NHL arena have a Bimbo-Tron? During stoppages in play, the horny camera guys scour the crowd for the ever elusive, large busted, drunk woman. This is always followed by grunts and whistles from the stereo-typical, neanderthal hockey fan.
• Since I went to the game straight from work, I was way over dressed (dress slacks and shirt). Everyone seemed to treat me with a little more respect, and I even got “sir’d” a couple of times. Usually, I get nothing but dirty looks from the AAC employees.
• I saw a ton of big fat ugly dudes with little blonde hotties on each arm. Whenever I see this, I automatically conclude that said fat dude has some mad cash. I then realized that people must think the same thing about me when they see Sarah and I together…
• When there is free food and free booze, I ALWAYS overindulge. I can’t help it.
• I love to people-watch. In between periods you will usually find me in my seat, eyes glued to my binoculars, surveying the crowd for that odd bit of insight into human nature.

Me Like Hockey!

An open Letter to Dish Network and OLN:

For some unthinkable reason, the NHL decided to sign a TV contract with the Outdoor Life Network (OLN). Is it just me, or is this possibly the worst idea ever? It’s like putting Family Guy on the Oxygen channel… just ridiculous. Anyway, being a Dish Network customer and all, I began to research what I needed to do to get this elusive OLN channel. I soon found that I could not simply just “add” the channel to my current “Top 120″ programming package (because that would be waaaay to easy). Instead, I am forced to “upgrade” my entire programming package to the “Top 180″ in order to get the OLN and 60 other “Top” channels I will never watch. So now I am paying an extra $10 a month for the privilege of watching the NHL on OLN.

Honky-Dorey we all live happily ever after, right? WRONG BIOTCHES!

I turn on OLN the other night to watch the Penguins/Buffalo game and instead of hockey, they are broadcasting a show about the 25 most deadly animals to hunt, followed by the 25 worst jobs to have (can being a Dish Network customer count as a job?). No hockey, and I was MAD as hell and not going to take it anymore!

I was cordially informed by the well spoken Dish Network customer service reps (where did these people learn to speak?) that the OLN will not allow Dish Network to broadcast the NHL because the OLN channel is not in the basic programming package… blah… blah… blah… I don’t care. I just want to watch hockey. So what they basically told me was that I get to pay an extra $10 a month for NOTHING. I implore you, reader, if you are thinking of getting a satellite dish, DO NOT GET DISH NETWORK! DirectTV are the Red Wings of satellite providers, while Dish Network are the lowly New York Rangers.

(I guess this wasn’t really an open letter, just more of a venting-rant. So sue me)

No, not that lotto…

The NHL entry draft lottery was held yesterday in New York and the Pittsburgh Penguins won the #1 overall pick in this year’s draft! I know this probably isn’t very exciting to most of you reading this, but it is hockey, and I love Pittsburgh – so smeg off… Having the #1 pick overall (the draft will be held on Saturday, July 31st – ESPN will carry it live) means that the Penguins will select the best prospect of the last 20 years – 17 year old hockey phenom Sidney Crosby. He is being compared to Mario Lemieux, and will most definitely keep hockey in Pittsburgh for another 15 years.

With that said, I thought I’d write a little bit about why I love Pittsburgh so much even though I’ve never really lived there. My mom grew up on the North side of Pittsburgh in an area called Riverview Park. It was a blue collar neighborhood in the 50′s and 60′s and has since become a ghetto. The house my mom grew up in is still there and I like to drive by whenever I visit the city. It reminds me of my grandmother and all the summers and holidays I spent in the house as little kid – some of my first memories are of being in that house. I love snow, and we don’t really get all that much snow in Dallas… Anyway, my mom has always been a huge Steelers, Pirates and Penguins fan, so that was passed along to me. I grew up loving the sport of hockey, and with no hockey team in Dallas, I always followed the Penguins. When the Stars moved here in 93, I was stoked, and I am a huge Stars fan as well, but the Pens will always hold a special place in my sports pants.

The house my mom grew up in

So, yes, I am THAT guy… the guy that’s technically lived his whole life in one city, but who strangely has fierce loyalty to a sports team of another city… get over it.