Author Archive

It’s strange… I don’t feel 30. But here it is, July 11th, 2008 and I’m married with a wife, kid, mortgage, job, etc… I feel so freaking old, but am the happiest I’ve ever been!

The JR of 12 years ago could NEVER have imagined such a life for himself. When I was an idiot teenager, I didn’t even think I’d live long enough to see 30. The fog of depression blinded me so completely that I was convinced being happy was something that only happened to other people. I was in such a bad place. Marriage? Never. Kids? No way man. Job? I’ll just keep on driving the Zamboni forever… I’m glad that version of JR died a long time ago! (and so is everyone else)

My tastes have changed dramatically in the last 10 years. Don’t get me wrong, I still love MOST of the same things, it’s just that I’ve discovered so much more. Broadened my horizons if you will… Things that I never thought I’d like, from food (sushi, tofu, curry), to music (Zero 7, Avett Brothers, Wilco) to life in general (work, kids). Of course, some things will never change. I’ll always be a hockey-fanatic that hates onions and loves to listen to heavy metal with the volume knob turned to eleven. That should be interesting for the great grand kids if I make it to 90!

One of things that disgusts me most about getting older is my shift toward left brain thinking/activities. It’s a combination of not having the time nor the energy to pursue the ‘arts’. Work life and home life have both been crazy busy lately, which is totally not a bad thing, but it does almost entirely eliminate the time I have to spend writing, playing music, taking pictures, etc. I’m able to write this blog entry only because I’ve FORCED myself to sit down in a isolated place with headphones on (listening to Zoe Keating). These moments of stillness have become increasingly few and far between… Case and point: I took last week off work on “vacation”, but stayed home and refinished our kitchen cabinets. I spent the entire week in the garage sanding and staining doors. I don’t think I picked up my guitars or camera at all. I am creatively constipated, carrying around all this creative energy that I can’t get out! Does Walmart sell right-brain laxative?

Does everyone have a list of things they’d like to get done before they turn a certain age? I do, and no I don’t write them down (that’s too Tony Robbins for my tastes). But I do keep a mental list tucked away in the back of my mind. 99% of the things I wanted to do before I turned 30, but didn’t were creative (right brained) in nature. That’s what pains me the most about turning 30. The years are ticking by and my to do list isn’t getting any shorter… In fact, it’s getting longer!

Am I totally bringing the proverbial room down or what? This blog entry has been such a downer so far, so I thought I’d end it on a positive note. Here are a couple things that I actually like about getting older:

Technology. The iPhone 3G launched today. I wish I could get one, but it’s
still a little to $$$… the thing is incredible. If you’d have shown me an iPod 10 years ago, I’d have shit a brick. Back in the day, I used to carry about 80 CDs in a HUGE canvas carrying case with me wherever I went. Nowadays, I take about 380 albums in my iPod with me… in my pocket. So many other gadgets have changed my life SO much. Obviously computers and networking equipment (which is my lively hood), Digital Cameras, Tivo/DVR, HDTV… I could go on and on and on… I am a gadget-geek.

Work. I’ve been with the same company for 7 years now, slowly climbing the corporate ladder, and I still learn something new just about every day.

Sarah and I have never been closer. I love her more and more with each day
that passes. The mere thought of growing old with her makes me realize
that I am the luckiest.

Watching Asher grow up. I LOVE being a dad. I can’t wait to grow old and
watch him become a man.

So as I fall asleep tonight, 30 years from the day I was brought into this world, I’ll take a moment to reflect on the past and with a little luck, maybe I can kick it for another 30 years (at least)!

For the second season in row, my hockey team, Alman Electric, was eliminated in the first round of the playoffs 2 games to 1 in a best of three series against the hated Hangovers. We got off to a horrible start in game three going down 2-0 in the opening period. We just had no legs. As usual, we got into penalty trouble in the second and third periods (including a dumb 4 minute penalty to me for slashing). The Hangovers just happen to have the best player in the league playing defense for them, and he single-handedly shut our offense DOWN. He’s so good that the league office told him not to score any goals or he wouldn’t be allowed to play (presumably because he can score at will). Every time we had an odd man rush or a scoring chance, that freaking guy was there to break up the play. I hate him.

Not only did we lose, but I injured my right knee with about 5 minutes left in the game when some douchbag checked me from behind into the boards. It was by far the most painful injury I’ve ever had in my 12 years of playing hockey (and I’ve had a LOT of injuries). I had to be helped off the ice and couldn’t put any weight whatsoever on my swollen knee. I didn’t go to the hospital, but I did end up taking the next day off work. Today it feels 300% better – I can limp around a bit and the pain is at least manageable. The swelling has gone down and the bruising is starting to show. Luckily, I didn’t twist my knee at all during the collision, so all my tendons and ligaments seem to be OK. The majority of the impact was to my kneecap and the bottom of my femur, so I should be good to go when summer season starts up in mid June.

And yes, I did shave off my playoff hockey beard. (Sarah was VERY appreciative)…

Since Asher’s birth, everyone has been asking when we were going to take him skating. We figured once he had walking down we could try it out. Then we had to wait until he could fit into the smallest skate the ice rink carried. In March we were finally able to take him. I thought he might be scared or only want to stay out 5 minutes or so, but he loved it. He had an instant need for speed. JR would hold his hands and Asher would say “faster, faster” with a huge grin on his face. On our 2nd visit a couple of weeks later, Asher was determined to figure it all out and skate on his own.

2nd visit

Beer League Hockey Playoffs are here once again. My team, Alman Electric, finished second overall in the standings and faced off against the dreaded 3rd place Hangovers. Game 1 was a chess-match, but we put together a great team effort, lead by salacious goaltending and hung on for a 3-2 win. Game 2 was a different story. We got absolutely SCREWED by the refs…. It was like someone put a keg of beer in the penalty box – we couldn’t stay out. We were shorthanded the entire game and lost 4-2. All four goals against were scored while we had guys in the box (2 5-on-3 goals and 2 5-on-4 goals). That had to be one of the worst displays of refereeing in the history of sports… I actually got a 2 minute minor penalty called against me for sneezing on a guy. The deciding game 3 is next Tuesday at 10pm. We’ve got to stay outta the freaking penalty box if we want to have a chance of beating those chumps.

As a side note, I’ve been growing the traditional playoff hockey beard, much to Sarah’s chagrin. I hope it helps my luck on the ice more than it’s helped my luck in the boom-boom-room (if ya know what I mean)…

Dear Asher,

Now that you’re fourteen months old, there’s something I need to tell you. As you grow up, you will undoubtedly hear me reference the ‘Yarbrough curse’ on a weekly (perhaps daily) basis. I am truly sorry for this, but I promise it’s not my fault. I’m certain that by the time you’re all grown up, you will know the Curse all too well. I have no idea why all Yarbrough males are cursed… my theory is that one of our ancestor’s must have yinged when they should have yanged, and we’ve been paying for it ever since. I’m a big believer in Karma, and I‘ll do my best to teach you the age old principle of ‘what comes around goes around.’

Here are a couple recent examples of the Yarbrough curse at work in my life:

Exhibit A) When we went to Pittsburgh last February on vacation, I lost my drivers license AT the airport. I had to have your Paw-Paw fax me my birth certificate and social security card so I could get home. I called the airlines several times to see if they found my license, but no dice. Over a month after we got home, I finally went to the DMV and waited 3 hours to get a new license. Guess what showed up in the mail the VERY next day…. Yup, the license I lost at the airport.

Exhibit B) In May of this year, on a blistering hot day, I woke up to find that our water heater had exploded and flooded the garage. I went to turn the emergency shut off valve at the top of the water heater, and the knob broke off in my hand. I had to shut the water off for the entire house. Not so bad, right? Well, as noon rolls around, I’m in the garage cleaning up 500 soggy cardboard boxes, and I hear this crazy grinding noise and loud explosion… The outside compressor of our air conditioner blew up. No running water and no A/C. In 4 short hours, the Curse had bitch-slapped us back into the 19th century. Since Paw-Paw knows all about the curse, he helped us install a new water heater that day, but it took 2 more days to have a replacement A/C compressor installed. Those were some hot nights and expensive days!

Exhibit C) When you were born, we sold your mom’s 2 door sports car and bought a 4-door ‘family’ sedan. We were heading out of town for a vacation weekend in Galveston when the timing belt broke, ruining the engine and our vacation. We had to pony up $4000 for a new engine… Looking back, this one was probably more my stupidity than the Curse. Never buy a Hyundai…

Your mother will tell you that the curse doesn’t really exist and that daddy is crazy… She is NOT a male Yarbrough. We’ll let you make up your own mind.

Ow-Sigh!

This month you’ve been obsessed with ‘ow-sigh’, which is your way of saying ‘outside.’ If we let you, you would spend all day, every day outside playing. When it’s time to come inside, you cry and scream ‘ow-sigh’ over and over again. You’ve also learned to sign ‘please’ (rubbing your hand in a circle on your chest). So, now when you want something, you point at it and furiously rub your hands on your chest. Your favorite word is now ‘eat!’ I type it with an exclamation point because that is how you say it. EAT! EAT! EAT!

Watching Stars training camp with papa

I had lunch with an old friend the other day and he said the coolest thing. He has a 3 year old son, and he told me that his life truly began on the day his son was born. I couldn’t agree more. As much as you think you can imagine what it will be like to have a child of your own, you can’t. It is a completely foreign and beautiful feeling to look into the eyes of someone that is half you, and half the person you love… it is simply amazing.

Love,
Papa

Dear Asher,

If I had to use one word to describe the last month, it would have to be LOUD. Your vocabulary has more than doubled since your birthday, and you let us know it every chance you get…

I suppose all kids go through a phase when they repeat everything they hear… Well, you are currently the mayor of parrot-ville. Last month, you started saying the words “no-no” a LOT, and at first it was adorable. You’ve since used that giant hammer of repetition to beat every last bit of cuteness out of it. Every question we ask you, the answer is always “No”, even if you really mean yes. Are you hungry? “No” Are you sleepy? “No” And of course there’s always the screaming of “Noooooooooo” when we want you to do something you don’t want to do. “No” is now a forbidden word in our house.

There are some words that you say that I can’t get enough of… When you call me Dada, it’s like hugs for my ears. Since you were born, my favorite time of the day has been walking through the door after coming home from work. You are always there to greet me with a big smile and hugs, but now you’ve added jubilant screams of ‘Dada” to the routine. It just doesn’t get any better than that.

One of your favorite new words is “Whoah”. Not so much a Joey Lawrence in Blossom “Whoah”, but more like a Keanu Reeves in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure “Whoah”. And speaking of the 80’s, you and I are bringing back the high five. You’ve got it down pretty good. Every time I say “High Five” you put your arm up in the air and wait for me to slap it. Next month I’ll teach you how to ‘fist bump’. Blow me up dog.

Eye of the Tiger

There are some other words that still need a little practice. For example, when you want a drink you say “dyunglug”. I don’t know if it’s a combination of drink and water, or if maybe you’re just repeating the sound of gulping… either way it gets the point across. Other words from the Asher dictionary currently include:
“Ow-sigh” = outside
“Eee” = eat
“Doughy” = Zoe
“Cheesh” = Cheese

Last month you were walking like a drunken monkey. Well, this month you joined a 12 step program and evolved into a sober monkey!! Congrats! You have entirely ceased crawling, but you do spend a fair amount of time on your butt. I’m amazed at your resiliency.

One of the coolest parts about being a dad is that I love you more and more each and every day. Just when I think my heart is about to burst and I couldn’t possibly love you more, I DO!! It is such an incredible feeling!

Love,
Papa

Dear Asher,

Happy Birthday!

I’m absolutely amazed at how much my attitude towards kids has changed in the last 21 months. I used to be THAT guy when it came to kids… You know, the extremely awkward fellow that is scared to death to hold babies. The guy that sees kids as little, snotty, drool covered monsters. Honestly, 99% of the time I never even noticed kids at restaurants or malls unless they were misbehaving. After your mother and I found out we were having you, my eyes were opened to a whole new world. All of the sudden there were cute little snuggly, playful kiddies everywhere! Things that used to annoy the hell out of me now make me smile. I’m so thankful that I’m not THAT guy anymore, and it’s all because of you…

You have several new teeth poking through this month, but, unfortunately you are suffering from a phenomenon that I commonly refer to as ‘Sharkteeth.’ Sharkteeth is a gruesome affliction most commonly found in toddlers, but in some instances it can also be found in fully-grown-adult peoples (i.e. – see Mary Lynn Rajskub). A sharktoothed person can be easily identified by the presence of extremely uneven, half-developed teeth that can be stubby or sharp, and in some of the more hideous cases, both. In the past, I have had severe allergic reactions when spotting sharktoothed individuals, most of the time resulting in facial contortions and vocal outburst of “uggghhhhhh, shhhhhhharkteeth.” Thanks to you, I can now proudly say that I no longer see Sharkteeth as a grotesque affliction. I now view children that have Sharkteeth as cute, lovable, adorable, and precious…. (Although, I still find it disturbing in adults)

Sharkteeth

What an awesome month you’ve had! Our little baby is gone, and in his place is this walking, talking little dude. A few of your favorite words are: mama, papa, up, Zoe, ball, and whoa. You love to say ‘tickle tickle’ in the cutest little baby-speak when I tickle your feet. Your all time favorite word so far is ‘no-no’. You always utter it right before you do something you know you’re not supposed to do. It’s like having my own personal Asher alarm system… All I have to do is listen for the ‘no-no’ and I’m alerted that you’re about to get into something off-limits. It’s also crazy how many words you understand even though you can’t say them. I guess I should start watching what I say around you.

Earmuffs!

I hate to have to tell you this, but you walk like a drunken monkey… of course you’ve only had about 3 weeks of practice, so who can blame you? With each day that passes, you are getting more stable and more confident on your feet. Fear is not a factor for you – there is no trepidation in your footsteps. If there was such a thing as a stunt-baby, you would have your own TV show co-starring Lee Majors. Your mother and I are so used to you bumping into things and falling over backwards that we hardly even notice it anymore. It takes a pretty good crash to make you cry, but even then it’s only a matter of seconds before you’re back up, rumbling and stumbling along like a little freight train. I hope you are as fearless on skates as you are on foot!

While editing one of the 4,095,059,334 pictures that we take of you every month, your mom and I noticed that your hair was getting a little out of control… So, we took you to the kiddie haircut place to get your baby-mullet chopped off. We were pretty apprehensive about it because we didn’t want your hair to look butchered for your first birthday party. Luckily, our apprehension was unfounded and the cartoon-ish establishment we took you to did a great job! You took it like a man!

Out of control hair

Your first birthday party was a smashing success! We squeezed about 42 people (adults and kids) into our tiny house to celebrate your big day. There was a mini bounce-house in the back yard as well as a little splash-pool for you and the rest of the kiddos to play in. We even set up a knee hockey rink in our bedroom, but I think the adults used it more than the kids (the rink was a great early birthday gift to you from an old friend of your mom and I). You loved your little ‘smasher’ cake and made a huge mess while devouring it. You also got a TON of new toys, although I think you like the boxes they came in more than the actual toys. I’m afraid we might have set the bar a little too high with this first party… I don’t have a clue how we’re ever going to top it! It was a great day, and a good time was had by all.

Fun to be One!

I can’t believe it’s been a year since you were born. It’s the strangest thing, because in some ways it seems like a lifetime ago, but in other ways it seems like just yesterday. Being a dad is the most challenging thing I’ve ever done, but it’s also the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done.

Love,
Papa

• Home Depot gift cards for that patio arbor I’ll never build
• Money towards a real sprinkler system for the yard
• A new Driver (my Dad actually built one for my birthday and I can’t wait to slice a ball into oblivion)
• Sarah eating a double whopper with cheese AND MEAT
• Liposuction
• A Penguin
• And of course, better grammar