It’s strange… I don’t feel 30. But here it is, July 11th, 2008 and I’m married with a wife, kid, mortgage, job, etc… I feel so freaking old, but am the happiest I’ve ever been!

The JR of 12 years ago could NEVER have imagined such a life for himself. When I was an idiot teenager, I didn’t even think I’d live long enough to see 30. The fog of depression blinded me so completely that I was convinced being happy was something that only happened to other people. I was in such a bad place. Marriage? Never. Kids? No way man. Job? I’ll just keep on driving the Zamboni forever… I’m glad that version of JR died a long time ago! (and so is everyone else)

My tastes have changed dramatically in the last 10 years. Don’t get me wrong, I still love MOST of the same things, it’s just that I’ve discovered so much more. Broadened my horizons if you will… Things that I never thought I’d like, from food (sushi, tofu, curry), to music (Zero 7, Avett Brothers, Wilco) to life in general (work, kids). Of course, some things will never change. I’ll always be a hockey-fanatic that hates onions and loves to listen to heavy metal with the volume knob turned to eleven. That should be interesting for the great grand kids if I make it to 90!

One of things that disgusts me most about getting older is my shift toward left brain thinking/activities. It’s a combination of not having the time nor the energy to pursue the ‘arts’. Work life and home life have both been crazy busy lately, which is totally not a bad thing, but it does almost entirely eliminate the time I have to spend writing, playing music, taking pictures, etc. I’m able to write this blog entry only because I’ve FORCED myself to sit down in a isolated place with headphones on (listening to Zoe Keating). These moments of stillness have become increasingly few and far between… Case and point: I took last week off work on “vacation”, but stayed home and refinished our kitchen cabinets. I spent the entire week in the garage sanding and staining doors. I don’t think I picked up my guitars or camera at all. I am creatively constipated, carrying around all this creative energy that I can’t get out! Does Walmart sell right-brain laxative?

Does everyone have a list of things they’d like to get done before they turn a certain age? I do, and no I don’t write them down (that’s too Tony Robbins for my tastes). But I do keep a mental list tucked away in the back of my mind. 99% of the things I wanted to do before I turned 30, but didn’t were creative (right brained) in nature. That’s what pains me the most about turning 30. The years are ticking by and my to do list isn’t getting any shorter… In fact, it’s getting longer!

Am I totally bringing the proverbial room down or what? This blog entry has been such a downer so far, so I thought I’d end it on a positive note. Here are a couple things that I actually like about getting older:

Technology. The iPhone 3G launched today. I wish I could get one, but it’s
still a little to $$$… the thing is incredible. If you’d have shown me an iPod 10 years ago, I’d have shit a brick. Back in the day, I used to carry about 80 CDs in a HUGE canvas carrying case with me wherever I went. Nowadays, I take about 380 albums in my iPod with me… in my pocket. So many other gadgets have changed my life SO much. Obviously computers and networking equipment (which is my lively hood), Digital Cameras, Tivo/DVR, HDTV… I could go on and on and on… I am a gadget-geek.

Work. I’ve been with the same company for 7 years now, slowly climbing the corporate ladder, and I still learn something new just about every day.

Sarah and I have never been closer. I love her more and more with each day
that passes. The mere thought of growing old with her makes me realize
that I am the luckiest.

Watching Asher grow up. I LOVE being a dad. I can’t wait to grow old and
watch him become a man.

So as I fall asleep tonight, 30 years from the day I was brought into this world, I’ll take a moment to reflect on the past and with a little luck, maybe I can kick it for another 30 years (at least)!