Last night I got to go to the Dallas Stars game and sit in a luxury box suite. Lucky me. I got the ticket through work and had to attend an hour security presentation before the game – a small price to pay for free tickets, food, beer and Crown Royal. A good time was had by all (except for the Stars, which neglected to show up for the game and got killed 7-2).

I made a point to peruse the concourse on the Platinum level to see what being rich felt like. I noticed a couple of things:

• Rich people are good looking. Or, is it that good looking people are rich? The ol’ chicken or the egg debate… The higher up you go in the arena, the uglier people get.
• Most of the people in the luxury suites do NOT even watch the freaking game. In the suites on either side of ours, the people were too busy shmoozing and stuffing their faces with high dollar food to even pretend to watch the game.
• Does every NHL arena have a Bimbo-Tron? During stoppages in play, the horny camera guys scour the crowd for the ever elusive, large busted, drunk woman. This is always followed by grunts and whistles from the stereo-typical, neanderthal hockey fan.
• Since I went to the game straight from work, I was way over dressed (dress slacks and shirt). Everyone seemed to treat me with a little more respect, and I even got “sir’d” a couple of times. Usually, I get nothing but dirty looks from the AAC employees.
• I saw a ton of big fat ugly dudes with little blonde hotties on each arm. Whenever I see this, I automatically conclude that said fat dude has some mad cash. I then realized that people must think the same thing about me when they see Sarah and I together…
• When there is free food and free booze, I ALWAYS overindulge. I can’t help it.
• I love to people-watch. In between periods you will usually find me in my seat, eyes glued to my binoculars, surveying the crowd for that odd bit of insight into human nature.

Me Like Hockey!

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